Yea. Of course. So do with everybody in the world, not only me. Then why I’m so exaggerating? Because I don’t know what to write to keep maintaining my writing habit. Also, it is really interesting for me how 2020 comes to my life and at some moments it’s really fucked up, yet ironically it makes my vision for the future get clearer and better. I am fully grateful for everything that happened in the last 2 years. It starts with the Wuhan case accelerated globally to the highest level and I was failed to see the sign. I learned a lot from that year about how important emergency saving is. In the first 2 quarters of that year, I also witnessed some of the leaders who decided on risk management policies with the worst communication.
First, I still remember how the officials laughed at covid like it was nothing. Warnings and orders to prepare and act decisively to prevent this virus… came too late. This has resulted in the high death toll which is then only seen as numbers–not humans. What will happen if those officials become the last people to be judged in the afterlife? If I have the power I will let it happen. Let them wait in great and eternal fear.
Second, I got fired (force-majeurly) in July 2020 from the fashion eCommerce startup and this event was so unexpected. Notice of dismissal is notified 2 days in advance. One month before that, the CEO said we will be okay, we will go trough this hard time together and turns out that was the last time I saw his face. Again, another leader who pretend to motivate and act in denial when the apocalypse is near. Pathetic. He had known the condition of the company was deteriorating even before the year start and instead of telling the truth by letting us look for a new boat, he used the naivety of the employees to sink together. Well, I was stupid. Deciding to stay at that time was a stupid decision, but for most of the lower-level employees in Jogja, this office was our first job and didn’t know how to act in those conditions. He dissappear right after that motivational nonsense and hand over his responsibility to tell us the truth to someone I don’t know–a new face from Singapore. Later, the middle manager, The Head of People, also took over the blame and cursed by let her name as the one who held the responsibility in the voluntarily resign agreement document. I feel bad for her since I believe most of the ex-employee also contacting her personally and asking for the responsibility while its not her fault at all. I really love this company because it has helped me through my master’s degree, made me meet precious people, and became my second home. I just regret their bad way of handling and communicating the disaster.
The third one, is a good change in my life. I finish my thesis; gain my master degree; and change my career path to UX researcher. I know the basic of UX Research but I don’t have portfolio at the time to prove myself. I will write about it in another time maybe, on how this company accidentally save my life. I’ve left in despair because I don’t know where to start as UX Researcher and then my current company open the gate for me. As always, I’ll save the best for the last. LOL
Fourth phase of My-Life-Changed-after-Covid is literally got hit by the Covid19.
July 2021, the delta variant poke me with a ‘hello’ and give me bad headache everyday. When the night comes, it will attack my head and my lungs; give me a hard time to breath and make it hard for me to gain my health and recover since I cannot sleep well for weeks. If delta is a GojekDriver then it will got the 5-stars for always come on time, right around 6 PM and 2 AM. I tested negative about 3 weeks since the first day I felt sick, but strangely, I still felt sick for the next 2 months. At that time, UGM provided telemedical services for its alumni and thus I knew that I had long covid. It is difficult to function normally again. I still can’t sleep well with this discomfort in my chest and head every midnight. My room is on the 2nd floor and even just going up the stairs can take up half of my energy. During the meeting, I only lasted under 10 minutes straight. More than that, I’m out of breath.
Until now, I feel my body is not the same anymore, but I can’t explain it in words. I wonder if my heavy hair loss is also an effect of covid or if I’m really getting old. Interestingly, what triggered me to write about this was an account on Twitter in February 2022 that stupidly still refuses vaccines and doesn’t believe in covid. Oh my… If there will be another inevitable virus created, I wonder if it can be equipped with AI, chips, machine learning, or everything to accurately target this group of people, just like what they narrated all this time. Don’t let them die, just make them suffer.