Somersault 2023


I still remember how 2023 started with an ordinary feeling. There was no excessive optimism and no disturbing negative thoughts. January passed very normally. Then suddenly, our department gathered in the office on February 2. On that same day, we were all laid off. On February 2, I was laid off for the second time.


The first thing that came to my mind at that time was: if at my next job I get fired again, then being “fired” would be my first hat trick. Yes! I was sad, of course. Very sad. But my sadness was compensated with severance pay, which allowed me to survive up to 5-6 months without work, so I guess it was an acceptable sadness.

I remember that day like it was yesterday. It was the first time the design and product teams gathered in (almost) complete formation, and also the last time. All-access to work was revoked that same day, even though at 8 in the morning I was still interviewing with users. It really came out of the blue. I didn’t look for a new job for a whole month. I was busy mending the broken.


I was broken.
I wasn’t crying much, but my body was. I thought I was fine, but my health showed that I was breaking down. Throughout February – March, I was busy going back and forth to the hospital. I experienced quite severe vertigo and an internal injury in my right shoulder muscle, which required physiotherapy and nerve monitoring. I went to a psychologist too. But the cost of 1 hour of consultation was around USD $40, and that made my sadness increase. So I decided to switch my mental treatment to frequent ice cream, chocopie, and buffet dinners.


I was in the recruitment process at three companies. All three contacted me via LinkedIn even though I didn’t put an ‘open to work’ sign. I didn’t put in any effort, and this actually made me feel the need to take care of my LinkedIn account even more. At least, this layoff incident proves how LinkedIn is a powerful and very useful platform. I only applied to one company, and even then, I failed the technical test process. I felt bad because I did the test half-heartedly since at that time there were already two offering letters. It felt like I had wasted their time, and I felt sorry about it.

Of the three companies that were in the process with me at the start, two of them reached the offering stage while I stopped the other one because there had been a suitable offering. I chose to join Cakap because Ed-tech would make my portfolio background more qualified, and of course… the salary increment was the highest.

Yes! Money is the key.


I can’t believe I’ve finally moved to Jakarta. Jakarta, with its traffic jams, its pollution, with all the hustle and bustle. For years I avoided this city. But then I lost and chose to move because there weren’t many choices at that time. I felt lonely and for about the first two weeks, I still cried before sleeping. Life at Cakap is not bad. It’s not as beautiful as the benefits of working at Niagahoster, but being able to work among a supportive team is a luxury nowadays. So when I found very supportive colleagues at Cakap, it felt like my burden was half done.

June, July ……….. November?!

WTF, I feel nothing! Shit goes so fast!! My workload is quite large, and the process of adapting to product knowledge is going so fast that I don’t know how to find space to breathe. I’ve worked a lot and learned a lot. I really worked hard. I can’t complain too much because everyone on the team is experiencing the same challenges. I hate it but strangely love it. My adrenaline rushes through every week and it feels somehow furious but also exhilarating. I’m happy because I can face everything while grumbling. And at a certain point, I started to feel that Jakarta was not as bad as I imagined. Although, of course, I still don’t want to spend my old days living here.


Things happen and life must go on anyway. I feel that my life is still balanced because even though I am far away, my communication with my family and my partner is still maintained well. This is our first long-distance experience and we can still maintain good communication and that makes me very proud of him and myself. We have these random fights once in a while, and it’s weird how our long-distance arguments are always about silly stuff, but they blow over fast. Sometimes, we don’t chat much when we’re both caught up, but surprisingly, it makes the rest of our talks way better.

December will come around the corner. I wonder if there are still any surprises in store for 2023. Whatever it is I hope it’s not something bad because I’m really tired.


Leave a Reply